My Older Child Is Acting Out Since Their Sibling Started Therapy. Is This Normal?
When one child starts regular therapy, a family's routine can change quickly.
There may be appointments, travel, conversations with therapists, practice activities at home and extra attention focused on the child receiving support. Parents may have less uninterrupted time for their other children, even when they are trying their best to keep things balanced.
Sometimes the sibling who is not receiving therapy starts behaving differently.
They may become more demanding, argue more, interrupt therapy-related conversations, refuse routines, become unusually emotional or repeatedly ask for attention.
This can leave parents wondering, "Is my child becoming jealous of their brother or sister?"
Sibling jealousy can be a normal response to a major change in family attention and routine. It does not mean your child is selfish or that they do not love their sibling.
The important part is understanding what the behaviour may be communicating.
Why Can A Sibling Become Jealous After Therapy Starts?
Children notice changes in family routines very quickly.
An older child may see their sibling leaving for therapy and wonder why they are getting special time with a parent. They may hear adults discussing appointments, progress or challenges and feel that their sibling has become the centre of family attention.
You might hear:
"Why does he get to go to therapy?"
"You spend all your time with her."
"I want to come too."
"Nobody listens to me."
"Why doesn't he have to do that?"
Sometimes the child will not say these things directly. Instead, the feelings may appear through behaviour.
Acting Out Does Not Always Mean Jealousy
It is useful not to assume that every behaviour change is caused by sibling jealousy.
Your child may also be responding to changes in routine, less predictable family time, new responsibilities or emotions they do not yet know how to explain.
Look for the timing and pattern.
Did the behaviour begin after therapy appointments started? Does it happen particularly when parents are discussing the sibling's therapy? Does the child seek attention immediately before or after an appointment?
These observations can help you understand what is happening.
How Can Parents Give Both Children Attention?
One of the most useful strategies is creating predictable one-on-one time.
It does not have to involve an elaborate outing.
A short period of uninterrupted attention can give your child an opportunity to feel seen without competing with their sibling's therapy needs.
You could:
Read together before bedtime.
Spend a few minutes talking about their day.
Let them choose a simple activity.
Have a regular parent-child routine.
Notice and praise their efforts without comparing them with their sibling.
The goal is not to make everything perfectly equal.
Children may need different kinds of support at different times. What matters is helping each child feel that their needs are important.
Should We Talk About The Sibling's Therapy?
Yes, but keep the conversation age-appropriate.
Your child does not need every clinical detail. They may simply need an explanation that their brother or sister is getting help with some things that are difficult for them.
You can also acknowledge the difference in attention directly:
"I know we have been spending a lot of time on your brother's appointments. You are important to me too."
Giving the child permission to express difficult feelings can be more helpful than immediately correcting them.
They can love their sibling and still feel frustrated about the changes happening at home.
What If The Acting Out Continues?
If the behaviour becomes intense, persistent or starts affecting school, relationships or daily family life, professional guidance may help.
At Inclusive Neurodevelopment Centre, child psychology support can help parents understand emotional and behavioural changes within the wider family context.
The focus is not on labelling a child as jealous or difficult.
Instead, the discussion can explore what changed after therapy began, how the child is expressing their emotions and what family strategies may support healthier adjustment.
Parents can also learn ways to respond consistently without making the child feel ignored or guilty for having difficult feelings.
Supporting The Whole Family Matters
Therapy is intended to support a child's development, but families also need space to adjust to the changes that therapy can bring.
If one child requires frequent appointments, it is understandable that family attention may shift temporarily. That does not mean the other children should simply "understand" and suppress their feelings.
Small, predictable moments of connection can make a meaningful difference.
Most importantly, avoid comparing siblings or telling the older child that they should be grateful because their sibling needs help.
Instead, acknowledge their feelings while maintaining appropriate boundaries.
Sibling jealousy does not mean you are failing as a parent. It can be a child's way of responding to a significant family change.
With understanding, consistency and appropriate support, families can work toward a healthier balance where every child feels heard and valued.